A Hell Of A Technique.


Hello fellow Blogster and Readers,

This Monday I am going to let you in on a clever little technique a friend of mine found last week that has really been helping me with my intrusive thoughts.
Above is the image she forwarded to me and whilst reading it I remember thinking to myself “shit this is actually something really special here” and i knew from the minute i read it that it could be a game changer for me thought wise.
I do think a lot of negative things about myself but I also have intrusive dark thoughts about the people I really care about and it’s not me being nasty or anything, It’s just a fleeting thought I may think about someone in a heated argument or my brain plays tricks on me then I will think to myself stuff like what if I thought that about someone I loved? Then I’d think about me saying it then i’ll reasure myself that it’s just a thought and thoughts aren’t fact and then a vicious cycle of OCD and self hate starts.
Using this technique really helps to separate my OCD thoughts from myself which helps me dismiss the thought and not hold on and obsess over it with thoughts like “I am such a bad person” “how could anyone love me?” “If they knew what I was thinking they would hate me” “I don’t deserve love” “They need to know what I thought” “Your horrible person” “Why would you think that?” etc, etc, etc.
OCD is not something you can help it’s not something you can just ignore or turn off, it’s a chemical imbalance in your brain and it’s something that unfortunately sufferers like me have to learn to live with through techniques and sometimes medication.

Another exciting thing happened last week, I got my tattoos to remind me that when I have a bad thought that “It’s just a thought” and that “Thoughts aren’t fact.” They are still healing at the moment but I love them and love knowing that if I have a thought bugging me I can just look down and remember these simple yet powerful words.

I really hope me sharing on this information helps someone suffering out there like it did for me and hey, at least Donald Trump is good for something right?

Until next week, Rach. ❤


Monday Weekly Blogs.


Lately I have been very active blogging wise, and I really want to get my blog out there and known.
My Mental Health is getting a lot better and i regularly think about blogging all the time lately.
So I have decided that when I write a blog I am not going to post it straight away like I normally do, but schedule them for Monday’s at 1pm.
I hope my former blogsters and future ones will stick with me on this journey of discovery in the world and mind of someone who lives with OCD/Aniexty/Depression and Panic on a day to day basis and how you can get through it and successed no matter how lost you are. I have come a long way since when i started blogging and this is just the beginning my loves.

I know Monday’s are hard and tedious so maybe reading my blog each Monday will give you all something to look forward too!

Until then, – Rach. ❤

When you like one of your Best Friends.

It becomes a big deal to like someone when suffering from Panic Disorder/OCD and Adult Separation Anxiety because telling them is not just a single fear of what rejection would be like, it’s rehearsing the way your going to tell that person 10 times in your head.

it’s getting anxiety over the butterflies you feel when they walk past you because you know that getting the butterflies means becoming vulnerable as heck!

It means that your judgment will  be called upon and sometimes your judgement and gut feeling isn’t always right which is hard in itself  to accept because then you start to truly believe that your mind has stranded you in some kind of deserted desert and has left you for dead.

Kind of like getting a tour guide to show you around a Foreign Country then detouring and leaving you in a place that isn’t on the map therefore leaving you to fend and struggle your way out of a place you have never seen let alone been before.

It means listening to the negative thoughts of OCD nagging you in the background of your mind telling you that your not good enough, that maybe if you lost some weight that they might feel the same way about you and you wouldn’t even have to tell them because they would approach you first or that your just not that pretty anyways so why are you even going there?!

It’s being rejected and then walking on egg shells because every crunch that the egg shells make under your feet causes the person to hear you and then they turn and look to see what the sound was and there you are struggling and god be damned if they catch you crying!

It’s the real fear and possibility of losing that person because they may not like you back causing things to become awkward and uncomfortable for the both of you, but that’s the risk your meant to take right?

If that person really is worth any of your time you should be able to tell them everything and anything yeah?

Relationships have up and downs as do friendships, if you are truly meant to be in each others lives then telling them you like them isn’t going to come between the two of you.

Being silly around each other isn’t something you will be judged on, if anything that person should laugh and throw a silly face back at you!

You shouldn’t feel worried that your being looked down upon when your with someone who is a close friend to you, you guys should feel as equal to each other and be able to relate to each other.

So something so little as to say “hey i have feelings for you.” Shouldn’t get in the way of the friendship you have with that person and being in a relationship is really just being a best friend to someone but also having that desire to want to annoy them and be with them for the rest of your days.


Welcome Back!


Hey everyone! It’s Rach i know it has been months and months since i posted a blog and i was sitting here going through my old blogs and decided to update you all on my ocd/panic journey.

It is with great delight that i can inform you guys that i am doing SO much better!
My medication has been changed to 50mg of Seroquel each night and 40mg of Lexapro and to be completely honest with you guys i couldn’t feel better!
I haven’t experienced a full on panic attack like i used to in months!!!!
I have been seeing a new Psychologist who has been helping me tackle my pure OCD thoughts and panic head on and that plus the right medication has been doing absolute wonders for me!
Yeah i still have my sad times and i still may panic and get stuck in and OCD loop but they aren’t nearly as bad as what i was going through when i first started writing to you all on here!
I am wanting to document my Phycologist techquies and help people out who maybe struggling like i was so please subscribe and keep a close eye on this space! Thank you all for sticking by me whilst i fought out this tough period in my life!
I thought it would kill me before i got through this but guess what i am still alive and i am stronger then ever!

I’m losing it!

I just don’t feel okay anymore. I don’t feel right. I can’t tell you what it is, it’s a million little things and there turning into big things in my life. I haven’t slept properly for 4 days now and i am thinking it’s because i am not taking Seroquel anymore. Being awake in my head is driving me mad, sleeping was my escape and now it’s gone to. Hopefully the new medication i start tomorrow night ‘Avanza’ can help me get some well needed rest, otherwise i fear i may lose my mind.

Today and yesterdays steps.

I read online that there is such a thing called ‘cold water therapy’ for panic attacks, the article suggests that when experiencing panic or fear after you have cleaned yourself with warm water to turn the water onto cold. First exposing your wrists to the cold water then literally put your whole body in the water for 2 or 3 minutes. The article also suggest using a cold gel back on your neck at the start of your spin and after a few minutes you will start to feel calmer, there is also a cold bath suggestion but as i don’t have a bath at home this doesn’t apply to me. If you would like to check out the article and get the instructions on the cold bath therapy i will link the article below.

So this brings me back to yesterdays step.


I kind of took two steps yesterday, i went out and brought a cold gel pack from the chemist to try out the cold gel pack therapy. Then later on that day i started to experience some panic so i put my swimmers on and stood in the shower i did what was instructed in the article and exposed my wrists to the cold water and then i literally just jumped in and let me tell you, the panic left alright i was bloody freezing! Which is great because now i have a new technique under my belt for when i can’t calm down, i won’t lie it wasn’t pleasant at all but it defiantly took my mind off the panic i was feeling. Later that day i was still feeling a little bit stressed so i used the cold gel pack and it did seem to calm me down.

So today’s step was a little bit different it was more focused on my obsessive compulsive disorder then my panic disorder. I went for my daily walk, the walk goes for about 30 minutes including leaving my house and walking down to the park i walk around. The walk all around the park alone takes 20 minutes and silly me i left the house and forgot my water bottle, i thought to myself i could walk back and get it but the sun was going down fast and i wanted to get back before dark so i kept walking. By the time i got half way around the park i was defiantly needing a drink, my eyes came across a a water bubbler and i actually had the thought “i need to use that water bubbler”, something i never would come to think about with my ocd brain because of germs. Guess what? I drank out that damn bubbler and i survived to blog you guys about it! That is a huge step for me!

Anyways there are my two small steps i did yesterday and today, until tomorrow talk soon.



So lastnight wasn’t the best of nights and i decided to blog about it, why you ask? Because i felt like it would be a good way to explain how i feel when experiencing panic, fear, ocd type thoughts. I also felt it would be good for me to be able to look back at those blogs lets say a year from now and understand and appreciate how far i have truely come.
Although lastnight was not full blown panic which is good news because it means i am getting more control over these awful things! I still wanted to share the thoughts that were in my head and how being in a panic literally drains the positive side out of me.
To try and control the panic i decided to go to bed and listen to affirmations which helped clear the bad ocd type of thoughts and made me listen to the positive ones. I hadn’t tried this technique before and i was surprised that it did indeed help at calming me and it did help me from not going into a full blown panic attack. You can get affirmation apps from the Google Play Store or the Itunes Store, i will link the app i used lastnight.
I hope that this blog can help someone out and they get something out of the affirmations app like i did. Let me know in the comments below if you try it and how it goes for you.