When the devil calls my name.

‚ÄčIt’s really weird this feeling I feel the only way I can explain it is as if the devil has taken my soul and I can no longer uphold.

Like the devil himself said child you shall feel defeat as I lie in this bed feeling so fucking incomplete like something bad has taken my hand help me Father for I can not stand.

Alone I feel even though I’m loved this meds are strong but my brain is already fried enough. 

I want to smile for I have all I need but deep down inside I just feel so twisted and weak.

OCD might be my devil in disguise for all the thoughts I have leave me burrowed inside.

Completely shut off I feel like a freak I can be demanding and selfish, I can be hollow and weak. 

I stare at walls and blink like the wall has a meaning but it’s actually just me looking for healing.

Help me Father for I have sinned take the devil out and let me come in.


I’m losing it!

I just don’t feel okay anymore. I don’t feel right. I can’t tell you what it is, it’s a million little things and there turning into big things in my life. I haven’t slept properly for 4 days now and i am thinking it’s because i am not taking Seroquel anymore. Being awake in my head is driving me mad, sleeping was my escape and now it’s gone to. Hopefully the new medication i start tomorrow night ‘Avanza’ can help me get some well needed rest, otherwise i fear i may lose my mind.