Freak Show & Bohemian Themed Photo Shoot.

Behind the scenes of the Freak Show shoot.

Yesterday at 4 pm I finished editing my first actual legit 2 photo shoots, the theme for the 2 photo shoots were  Freak Show where I had to take photos of a really creepy and dark but fantastic clown and two beautiful Bohemian hair styled girls.
The girls were all made up and had their hair done by the TAFE student hairdressers and we were paired to a hairdresser and her model.
Once that was done we were to talk with our client and get an idea of what they wanted there photos to look like making sure that the hair was the main focus in the picture.
We were also given our own brief and assessment on what we had to do when taking the photos – we were to pick 8-12 photos of the best shots we took, edit the photos to the best of our ability and present the photos to the hairdresser clients on a CD disk.

For my first shoot I was paired with Kate her model’s name was Nova and her theme was Freak Show, I spoke with her and got an idea of what she wanted.
Kate wanted the pictures to be creepy and dark but also put emphasis on the hair style she had performed.
I remember first meeting Nova, she was all done up in her outfit and her hair and make up had been done, I remember thinking to myself holy shit she looked creepy but also thinking how cool and amazing her photos were going to look and doubted myself that i could do the photos justice.
When it came time to shoot I was very nervous but as soon as I started shooting I didn’t stop, something came over me and I just got into some sort of zone and focused only on taking the photos and what angles I should shoot them from to get the best possible picture.
Nova absolutely worked the camera like she had been a professional model her whole life, her body was so flexible and bent to every creepy angle and curve it could, she made my job almost too easy.

Here are the photos of the shoot.

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It was an experience I will never forget and I am in love with how good the photos came out and couldn’t be anymore proud of myself.

After the Freak Show themed photo shoot came the Bohemian themed shoot, this shoot couldn’t be anymore different to the Freak Show shoot.
The two lovely girls I photographed were named Indie and Victoria (Indie first and Victoria second.) Their stylist names were Jordia and Chelsea.
The photo shoot was taken in a studio setting with glamour lighting, the girls looked beautiful and elegant and again I feared I wouldn’t be able to do their photos any justice.

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Once again I was delighted with how the photos turned out after I had gone through them, picked the best ones and done some slight editing to the photos to emphasis the hair.

The best thing I learnt from this shoot was that it is okay to doubt yourself, hell it might even be a great thing because in the end you just might surprise yourself.

Thank you to Kate, Nova, Indie, Victoria, Jordia and Chelsea for trusting me to take these photos for them, allowing me to write a blog about the experience and giving consent for me to share there photos I took of them with you all.

Until next week – Rach. ❤

 

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Dear K – Remember me?

I wrote this poem a week or so ago about my bestfriend i had a falling out with’s Mother.
Her and her Family were like extended Family to me, we even spent Christmas together last year with her Family and mine.
Her Sisters were like my Sisters and her Mum was like a second Mum to me so when we had a falling out and everyone shout me out and deleted me i felt a lot of betrayal and anger especially towards G’s Mum.

The names have been changed to there initials for privacy reasons.

Remember me? I was the one who was invited into your home with smiles and arms wide open.

Remember me? I was the smart edged girl with a dark past who had a dream.

Remember me? I listened to your every desire and dream.

Remember me? I brought you a butterfly key chain for your Birthday.

Remember me? I dated your daughter and made her laugh and smile.

Remember me? I met your Family and let most of them melt my heart.

Remember me? I stayed with G and comforted her whilst you were on work trips.

Remember me? I went to G’s appointments when you couldn’t be there.

Remember me? Laying at the REM doctors blunky arm chairs while G got tested for something you couldn’t even open your mind to see?

Remember me? Chasing after B in the street when she cried.

Remember me? I told you about a place best for G to go.

Remember me? Picking up G when she needed me.

Remember me? When i left your house every week with a broken heart.

Remember me? I got so lost i almost drowned.

Remember me? I threw up for weeks.

Remember me? You cuddled me when i needed be.

Remember me? When he left i wiped away your sorrow.

Remember me? When i hugged you so tight whilst you cried and burrowed.

Remember me? I started to get new ambitions.

Remember me? I started to stand.

Remember me? I know you can!

Remember me? It wasn’t that long ago!

Remember me? I have feelings too.

Remember me? You were like another Mother to me don’t you know?

Remember me because i was there, there’s no denying those days of despair.

Remember me, you said i was Family.

Remember me, or do you not? I must not of been that important i just must of not.

Your naked body should belong only to those who fall in love with your naked soul.

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I never knew how true this quote above meant until I met my other half.

When I was a Teenager I thought that to be loved by someone was for them to want to have sex with you.
I thought that if they saw you from across the room at a gig or a party and they winked at you that you were in for a good night and they liked you.
I thought this was how relationships worked, boy was a I wrong.

I have been in 2 serious Relationships in my short period of life where I thought sex was the main goal in the relationship and that’s how I ran with it. When the sex died down like it always does in relationships I believed that they weren’t into me anymore and didn’t find me sexually attractive anymore.
It wasn’t that sex was all that I desired in a relationship I knew that there was a possibly of settling down, getting married and having kids so much so that I got engaged once which crashed and burned and left me with a massive amount of trust issues. The thing is I thought that if I wasn’t desired sexually all the time that there was something wrong because that’s how I was programed to think as a young lusting teen, I didn’t respect my body enough and didn’t give the person time enough to see my naked soul, I’d just tempt them with my naked body which is disrespectful to me.

Finding someone who isn’t just all about sex and actually wants to get to know me has put my mind in a wacky situation. This person is absolutely amazing and he actually wanted to get to know every part of my naked soul before touching my naked body, It is meant to be a privilege to get to that point of trust and love in a Relationship. It was hard for me and to be honest it still is hard for me to understand, I sometimes feel like maybe I am not good enough but I know it’s not that. I know that this person actually sees a future with me and wanted to get to know every single part of me the good and the bad to prove to me that he was there for me for good. He knows the way I looked at sex wasn’t good for me or for our relationship and he stepped back from that and said no, let’s just take this slowly and get to know each other’s naked soul before jumping under the sheets.

I don’t think he knows this but deep down inside and out,

– I greatly thank him for that.

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HELLO WORLD!

Hello World!

My name is Rachael and I am just a regular 21 year old who is very interested in writing anything from short stories, reviews, daily blogs, advice, rants, poems and so much more.

I am also an aspiring and student Photographer, completing a Diploma in Photo-Imaging so I will be blogging some photographs that I take within the 2 year journey of my course.

I’m at that age where I am not sure exactly what I want to do with my life and have been given good feed back on my writing abilities so I thought that I would make a blog to see what the world thinks of my writing and if I could possibly pursue a career from it along with my photography goals.

So if your interested in helping a Newbie Blogger/Photographer out, come back and check my blog out every once and while and tell me what you think.

Thanks everyone!

Life Is Stunning In Black & White.

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I don’t think I have mentioned this before in any of my other blogs as most of my blogs that i have are based on my writing but I am and have been an aspiring Photographer from the beginning of the year.
Whilst battling with my panic and mental health issues last year i was referred to a mental health program for young people, there they help you define your goals and help you to live independently whilst living with a mental health condition.
If you have trouble with getting to appointments or need support to be somewhere they will come and pick you up and take you to the places you need to be and stay with you if need be.
Whilst diving into my goals and passions I realised that I had always had a love and flare for photography but hadn’t really ever given it a proper shot.
One of my support workers owned a professional camera and offered to take me out for supports to take photos and learn how to use a professional camera properly.
I remember holding that camera for the first time and thinking to myself “Omg I love this, I can actually see myself doing this as a career!”
Every support I went to I was always taking photos and started to make a portfolio of the progress I had made.
As days and weeks went by my medication started to work and kick in and taking photos became a daily occurrence for me, it was also giving me a reason to wake up in the morning and to be excited about.
I knew TAFE courses were going to commence soon and I was getting really sick of not doing anything with my life so I looked up some photography courses that were taking place at my local TAFE and I applied for the Diploma Of Photo-Imagining.
My beautiful Mother brought me a Cannon 500D DSLR camera for Christmas, God bless that beautiful woman and I was ready to go!

Above Is a photo I took at Swansea Caves Beach that I really love and would love to share with you, let me know what you guys think and if you like these type of blogs.

Until then, – Rach. ❤

Monday Weekly Blogs.

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Lately I have been very active blogging wise, and I really want to get my blog out there and known.
My Mental Health is getting a lot better and i regularly think about blogging all the time lately.
So I have decided that when I write a blog I am not going to post it straight away like I normally do, but schedule them for Monday’s at 1pm.
I hope my former blogsters and future ones will stick with me on this journey of discovery in the world and mind of someone who lives with OCD/Aniexty/Depression and Panic on a day to day basis and how you can get through it and successed no matter how lost you are. I have come a long way since when i started blogging and this is just the beginning my loves.

I know Monday’s are hard and tedious so maybe reading my blog each Monday will give you all something to look forward too!

Until then, – Rach. ❤

Don’t become who hurt you

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Oh how i know this feeling well and have been struggling with it a lot lately, i don’t know if many of you know but i had a falling out with someone who was my Bestfriend 3 weeks ago. She was the one who i dated for a year and the one i fell apart into an anxious mess about.

Let me start from the beginning, I met this girl after i had been through a tough break up with my ex fiancée at the time and being Bisexual i was intrested in pursuing girls for change. We went to school together before i re met her at a TAFE course we both started. I knew she was an out the closet Lesbian and i knew she could teach me a thing or too so i started talking to her, i added her on Facebook and she invited me to her place to watch movies. I told her straight up that i wasn’t looking for anything serious to come from us i just wanted to goof around and she was fine with that. Unfortunately a few days later after hanging out i realised that i had feelings for her that run deeper then the ocean and lit a fire within me that i couldn’t ignore. I told her and she agreed that she had feelings aswell, expect she lied..
You see she had a way of keeping people who came close to her by persuing them sexually but not really having that romantic feeling for them. For about a year i was lend on by ‘i love you don’t ever leave me’s to i never really loved you i only see you as a friend’s.’ This happened over and over again and i kept stupidly coming back again and again. I became extremely anxious so much so that i was waking up in panic attacks and shaking so unbearably I’d vomit. I couldn’t spend an hour not speaking to her without thinking the worst. Eventually we broke up again and then never got back together, i was still sick as a dog and we stayed Bestfriends so much so we acted just like we did when we dated minus the intimate part. For some stupid reason i still held on so strong to the idea she would love me again but she never did. As i wrapped myself deeper and deeper into that thought evenually she met someone and decided to get into a relationship resulting in me panicking more because i was going to lose her and her doing the exact same thing to this other girl as she did to me. Except this time she only broke her heart once because i was there to stop her from hurting this poor girl beyond no return like she did me. Of course i know she didn’t mean to hurt people she had been through a lot in her life that i soon came to realise as to why she was the way she was. Our friendship was hard to deal with and we fought constantly and screamed at eachother daily, something that i didn’t do often to the people i really loved and cared about and it was turning me into something i didn’t like and begged and pleaded with her for us to stop doing but it never fixed anything. You see i learn’t that even if you want something so badly it hurts and your willing to change for that person you still can’t make them change if they don’t see a problem in there behavior.

I started to get better with countless medication changes i finally found the one that worked for me and i met new people which lead me to lessen my obsession on her, which in turn made her rather jealous.

Fast forward to now and we had a fight as i said about 3 weeks ago over her trying to get onto one of my closest friends whom i told her was definitely off the cards and was a big no, no in my books. I forgave her once for doing it but when she tried a second time my trust for her became to wear.
By the way the girl who she tried to be intimate with has a Boyfriend which only made the situation worse for the whole 4 of us.

The whole point of this blog though is to explain that even though that person is now gone from my life and we aren’t screaming and yelling at eachother every day i still can show that bad quality side to the people i care about and lash out for no reason, it’s going to be a hard habit to break but when i came across the picture above on Facebook it kind of put what i am going through into perspective for me.

– Don’t become who hurt you, just because they hurt you like that doesn’t mean you need to punish others like it. Rise above all that hatred and anger, write this off as a lesson and move on.