I never knew how true this quote above meant until I met my other half.
When I was a Teenager I thought that to be loved by someone was for them to want to have sex with you.
I thought that if they saw you from across the room at a gig or a party and they winked at you that you were in for a good night and they liked you.
I thought this was how relationships worked, boy was a I wrong.
I have been in 2 serious Relationships in my short period of life where I thought sex was the main goal in the relationship and that’s how I ran with it. When the sex died down like it always does in relationships I believed that they weren’t into me anymore and didn’t find me sexually attractive anymore.
It wasn’t that sex was all that I desired in a relationship I knew that there was a possibly of settling down, getting married and having kids so much so that I got engaged once which crashed and burned and left me with a massive amount of trust issues. The thing is I thought that if I wasn’t desired sexually all the time that there was something wrong because that’s how I was programed to think as a young lusting teen, I didn’t respect my body enough and didn’t give the person time enough to see my naked soul, I’d just tempt them with my naked body which is disrespectful to me.
Finding someone who isn’t just all about sex and actually wants to get to know me has put my mind in a wacky situation. This person is absolutely amazing and he actually wanted to get to know every part of my naked soul before touching my naked body, It is meant to be a privilege to get to that point of trust and love in a Relationship. It was hard for me and to be honest it still is hard for me to understand, I sometimes feel like maybe I am not good enough but I know it’s not that. I know that this person actually sees a future with me and wanted to get to know every single part of me the good and the bad to prove to me that he was there for me for good. He knows the way I looked at sex wasn’t good for me or for our relationship and he stepped back from that and said no, let’s just take this slowly and get to know each other’s naked soul before jumping under the sheets.
I don’t think he knows this but deep down inside and out,
– I greatly thank him for that.