It becomes a big deal to like someone when suffering from Panic Disorder/OCD and Adult Separation Anxiety because telling them is not just a single fear of what rejection would be like, it’s rehearsing the way your going to tell that person 10 times in your head.
it’s getting anxiety over the butterflies you feel when they walk past you because you know that getting the butterflies means becoming vulnerable as heck!
It means that your judgment will be called upon and sometimes your judgement and gut feeling isn’t always right which is hard in itself to accept because then you start to truly believe that your mind has stranded you in some kind of deserted desert and has left you for dead.
Kind of like getting a tour guide to show you around a Foreign Country then detouring and leaving you in a place that isn’t on the map therefore leaving you to fend and struggle your way out of a place you have never seen let alone been before.
It means listening to the negative thoughts of OCD nagging you in the background of your mind telling you that your not good enough, that maybe if you lost some weight that they might feel the same way about you and you wouldn’t even have to tell them because they would approach you first or that your just not that pretty anyways so why are you even going there?!
It’s being rejected and then walking on egg shells because every crunch that the egg shells make under your feet causes the person to hear you and then they turn and look to see what the sound was and there you are struggling and god be damned if they catch you crying!
It’s the real fear and possibility of losing that person because they may not like you back causing things to become awkward and uncomfortable for the both of you, but that’s the risk your meant to take right?
If that person really is worth any of your time you should be able to tell them everything and anything yeah?
Relationships have up and downs as do friendships, if you are truly meant to be in each others lives then telling them you like them isn’t going to come between the two of you.
Being silly around each other isn’t something you will be judged on, if anything that person should laugh and throw a silly face back at you!
You shouldn’t feel worried that your being looked down upon when your with someone who is a close friend to you, you guys should feel as equal to each other and be able to relate to each other.
So something so little as to say “hey i have feelings for you.” Shouldn’t get in the way of the friendship you have with that person and being in a relationship is really just being a best friend to someone but also having that desire to want to annoy them and be with them for the rest of your days.