Sorry for such a late update the last couple of weeks have been pretty hectic in changing medications and having 2 friends pass away. I am sorry for not being around for so long but the good news is I am back and writing you all this update right now, as I said some days I might not post maybe even some weeks but I will always be back so please stay subscribed!
So like I mentioned above I have been in the process of changing medications if you haven’t read some of my previous posts please go have a read and come back here so you can understand what I am talking about. So I have been on Avanza for a week and a bit now and the transition was okay but a couple of days ago I was feeling really really depressed like I couldn’t get out of bed and everything was making me cry, the day after that I started to feel a little better though. Today I have been feeling a little depressed and haven’t really gotten out of bed as of yet, like I know I have to and to feel better I should but I literally don’t even have the motivation to get out of bed. Even writing this blog seemed like it was going to take some effort and I came close to not doing it, but I did so I guess that’s one of my small steps for today.
My ex girlfriend’s cousin passed away last week from Cystic Fibrosis at the young age of 21 and this has made me really question myself and my life lately because I mean we are basically the same age and I couldn’t imagine going through what she did. She was such a kind hearted human being and I just don’t understand why on earth god ‘if there is a god’ would give someone so beautiful and kind hearted such a horrible life threatening disease to live with? Like where is the logic in that? To make things worse it wasn’t even really the Cystic Fibrosis that killed her it was that her new transplanted lungs were rejecting and she caught an infection in her lungs that her body just couldn’t fight off. After having been told you only have a few months to live at 16 and then being successful to get a lung transplant and then passing away a few years later from them rejecting like seriously? If there is a god then why would he do that? Why inflict so much pain and suffering? I just don’t understand that. So those are some big questions I have been having lately which is probably also why I am feeling depressed. Then to make matters worse we find out another friend who was very kind hearted also has passed away from diabetes. I have always wondered what was there for us after death and have questioned heaven but I just really hope that there is somewhere beautiful for these precious souls to go because they so deserve to go to a place like heaven and to be pain free.
So lots of big questions and thoughts this week, I’ll let you know how I feel in the weeks to come with my medication. Sorry it’s been so long since I posted I will try to make next times not as long. Thank you for reading.